-- by David Swink
Date and context | Limerick |
Why write limericks? | When news from The Swamp gets too thick / And starts to make you feel sick / Grab paper and pen / And with your own spin / Summarize in a limerick |
2021-01-01: (#49) Mallard Fillmore's 2021 New Year's Resolution -- by Bruce Tinsley |
We'll no longer rant, rage and shout / When there's nothing to be mad about / 'Cause now we can be ... / More "objective", you see ... / Since that mean Orange Man will be out |
2020-10-21: (#48) On the Hunter Biden email scandal |
Hunter Biden took copious notes / Of sweet deals with China he wrote / When his laptop appeared / Big Tech just went weird / And news of the scandal was choked |
2020-07-23: (#47) On the FCPS fall closure, with teachers' faux Kung Flu concerns overriding parents and taxpayers |
For school board you did vote / It's now entirely 'woke' / You've paid for tuition / Schools closed, no admission / Now don't you feel like a dope?! |
2020-05-12: (#46) On the coronavirus lockdown |
The Chinese gave us the flu / And "experts" we listened to / So we "sheltered in place" / Laid our economy to waste / What a stupid thing to do! |
2020-04-03: (#45) On the world's reaction to the coronavirus |
Those rascally Red Chinese / Have brought the world to its knees / Not with military might / But to their delight / The power of the sneeze |
2020-01-07: (#44) On the media's reaction to Gen. Soleimani's demise |
That Iranian general was killed / And Americans in general were thrilled / But Dems and their press / Were very upset / Their hatred for us can't be stilled |
2019-12-18: (#43) Democrats and Britain's Labour have similar problems |
After BREXIT, Labour is through / But Democrats have troubles too / Voters will remember / Come time next November / That impeachment charade Dems will rue |
2019-11-21: (#42) On the so-called "Resistance" |
The Dems have been staging a coup / To nullify voters like you / But it will cost them plenty / Since in 2020 / They're up for reelection too |
2019-11-06: (#41) On the November 2019 election results |
In November, Fairfax County went Blue / And all of Virginia did, too / So we're officially 'woke' / And soon we'll go broke / 'Cause our schools are not educating you |
2019-10-29: (#40) On al-Baghdadi's demise and WaPo's reaction |
That "austere religious scholar" is dead / He blew himself up, lost his head / The civilized world's gain / Caused the Post to complain / Subscribers should go elsewhere instead |
2019-10-09: (#39) On Adam Schiff's impeachment efforts |
Adam Schiff is the real-life Joker / His antics appall today's voter / While impeachment is pushed / Legislation gets squooshed / So for Dems, 2020's a choker |
2019-08-15: (#38) On Ken Cuccinelli's rework of Emma Lazarus' poem |
Your tired, your poor huddled mass / When they over the border fence pass / Yearn for stuff that is free / But denied you and me / Hence Ken Cuccinelli's blast |
2019-08-03: (#37) On blowback from FCSB's 'boundary change' consideration |
When 'One Fairfax' was begun / The 'social justice' game was great fun / Then school 'bussing' was mentioned / It got parents' attention / And the School Board is now on the run |
2019-07-24: (#36) On the Fx Co School Board's "social equity" crusade |
The School Board has gone off the rails / On your kid's education it fails / "Social Equity" is explored / Parents' wishes are ignored / May their votes in November prevail |
2019-07-24: (#35) On Bob Mueller's return before Congress |
Bob Mueller the Pious returned / The Dems hoped the President to burn / His performance as such / Was embarrassing to watch / Soapier than "As The World Turns" |
2019-07-24: (#34) On Congressman Omar's marriage arrangement |
While Oedipus married his mother / Ilhan Omar married her brother / But this fact is ignored / By the Media hoard / The perks of a "woman of color" |
2019-07-16: (#33) On the AOC-Pelosi hissy fit |
The AOC-Omar Squad / Their panties are bunched in a wad / It's Pelosi they battle / With their victimhood prattle / Sororicide on the Left ... Quite odd! |
2019-07-05: (#32) On Nike's 'Betsy Ross' shoe cancellation |
The Nike Company is 'woke' / On Kaepernick's hatred they choke / Their 'Betsy Ross' shoe / Was pulled on his cue / And Americans' anger they stoked |
2019-05-30: (#31) On Robert Mueller's partisan 9-minute speech upon closing down his Trump-Russia witch hunt |
Mueller the Pious just ended / Non-partisan he pretended / But to Congress he preached / "It's for you to impeach" / After $35 Mil was expended |
2019-05-07: (#30) On William Barr's Congressional inquisition |
"Jerrynattering" is not a crime / But it's wasting Bill Barr's time / The A-G's discovering / And gradually uncovering / His agency's embedded slime |
2019-04-22: (#29) On the Easter massacre in Sri Lanka |
The civilized world abhors / Those Easter bombings du jour / The Religion of Death / And their friends on the Left / Are barbarians to the core |
2019-04-19: (#28) After the release of Mueller's report |
That report from A-G Barr / Two years, and nothing to jar / The REAL news of the hour / Was James Holzhauer / That rising Jeopardy star |
2019-04-10: (#27) On Attorney General Barr's testimony to Congress |
When Attorney General Barr / Was brought before Congress to spar / He mentioned aside / A soft coup was tried / So Spygate may yet go far |
2019-04-03: (#26) On Joe Biden's past friendliness with women |
Joe Biden's a hands-on guy / He's made the news lately, here's why / Past expressions of affection / Are now cause for rejection / The PC crowd now says bye-bye |
2019-03-28: (#25) On the post-Mueller media |
The Press for two years on / Their distaste for Trump was strong / But when Mueller got finished / Their narrative diminished / And their credibility now is gone |
2019-03-27: (#24) On Jussie Smollett's free pass from prosecution in Chicago |
'Empire Man' committed a crime / But his prosecution was declined / So those with connections / Can win special affections / Lady Justice, it's clear, is not blind |
2019-03-20: (#23) On Democrats' wanting to lower the voting age to 16 |
Dems want votes from 16-ers too / More ballot harvesting to accrue / But why not continue / Put toddlers on the venue / "Keep them comfortable" 'til they vote for you |
2019-03-14: (#22) On the Hollywood college admissions scam |
That college admissions scam / Hollywood parents lead the plan / Famous schools agreed / For a princely fee / Get a gentleman's C for your clan |
2019-03-11: (#21) On K-12 current public education |
K-12 education of yore / Is now a dinosaur / No phonics or math / But sex-ed's a blast / Indoctrination galore |
2019-03-08: (#20) On the 'Russian Collusion' meme |
While 'Russian Collusion' is gone / The search for the unicorn goes on / House committees will toil / Burn the midnight oil / 'til the wrath of the voters dawns |
2019-03-06: (#19) Will Democrats be taken seriously in 2020? |
A-O-C has got ideas aplenty / Of which people, it's clear, don't want any / If Dems keep up this pace / In the upcoming race / They'll be doomed in 2020 |
2019-03-05: (#18) Still a nation of laws? |
Our laws are currently two-tier / Lady Justice is not blind, it's clear / While the Left gets a pass / Conservatives get the shaft / Is Third-World status near? |
2019-03-04: (#17) On Congressional Democrats insisting on yet more Trump hearings |
Mueller on Trump cannot score / Congressional Dems want more / This obsession reminds / Of an earlier time / The McCarthy hearings of yore |
2019-03-03: (#16) On media coverage of the Trump/Kim talks vs the Michael Cohen soap opera |
While Trump was talking with Kim / Michael Cohen was the Media's din / Trump's effort was serious / The Media's delirious / Their credibility shot down again |
2019-02-25: (#15) On the demise of the Democrat Party |
The Democrat Party of yore / Unfortunately is no more / Their new leaders are nuts / Hate America's guts / Communist to the core |
2019-02-24: (#14) On historical context and the professionally offended |
Our culture considers a sin / Things that were normal back then / But what if our kind / Were to go back in time / Would they consider our culture a win? |
2019-02-23: (#13) On the Global Warming Industrial Complex |
'Global Warming' lost its zing / So 'Climate Change' became the thing / Now whatever weather's hue / "Our predictions were true!" / More grant money needed: Ka-Ching! |
2019-02-22: (#12) On Clinton corruption and the Russia hoax |
When Hillary thought she would win / She needed to hide her past sins / The Deep State complied / A soft coup they tried / But Trump is much stronger than them |
2019-02-21: (#11) On Left-wing media "confirmation bias" |
When 'Empire Man' creates a hoax / He's believed by the likes of The Post / But when Covington grins / It's considered a sin / No wonder their credibility is toast |
2019-02-20: (#10) On the relative seriousness of Watergate vs the current 'Deep State' scandal |
Watergate got WaPo's attention / The 'Deep State' nary a mention / But people have guessed / As that banner suggests / "Democracy Dies by Omission" |
2019-02-19: (#9) On how migrants from high-tax states infect their new homes |
When high taxes people can't take / To low-tax locales they migrate / But they vote the same way / And then one day / They're back to their original state |
2019-02-18: (#8) On how one side blames the other for sins of which they themselves are guilty |
For Palestinians: Israel is to blame / For Democrats: Republicans the same / Whether P-L-O man / Or Party of the Klan / Psychological Projection's the game |
2019-02-08: (#7) On the wisdom AOC, especially after that #GreenNewDeal fiasco |
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez / It's hard to believe what she says / When she opens her mouth / She embarrasses herself / Not as smart as a dispenser of PEZ |
2019-02-07: (#6) On Republican passivity during Democrat scandals |
When Democrats go astray / The Media they own look away / Republicans keep quiet / Then wonder why it / Goes badly on election day |
2019-02-05: (#5) On the President's State Of The Union speech |
The Super Bowl was a bore / SO-TU was of interest much more / 'Choosing Greatness' was touted / The Democrats pouted / And with Trump they remain at war |
2019-02-01: (#4) On how Trump Derangement Syndrome affects Congress and the Media |
To pols who choose Shutdown mode / And journalists who choose Trump to goad / As Obama told miners / With his famous one-liners / Perhaps you should just #LearnToCode |
2019-01-30: (#3) Fairfax Delegate Kathy Tran (D-42) introduces her Infanticide Bill ( HB2491) at the Virginia General Assembly |
New Delegate Kathy Tran / The Infanticide bill was her plan / Gov Northam agrees / It's what the State needs / His Hippocratic Oath be damned |
2019-01-29: (#2) FBI sends SWAT team to bring in Roger Stone |
Mueller wanted to get Roger Stone / But it seemed unglamorous to phone / So he sent a SWAT crew / With CNN too / And busted poor Roger at home |
2019-01-24: (#1) The March-for-Life bru-ha-ha with native-American Nathan Phillips and the Covington HS students |
That PocaSparticus man / Disrupting the March was his plan / Young Covinaugh smiled / Fake news sites went wild / As only the media can |