Watchdog of the Taxpayer's Dollar Since 1956
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Jokes-n-Quotes

Jokes-n-Quotes

"Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it."
-- H. L. Mencken

"Liberalism is a disease from which you can be cured. Trust me, I'm a doctor!"
-- Krayton Kerns, DVM

"Why Do Californians Appear To Be So Confused?" -- 04/04/2013

"The media should be embarrassed and humiliated and keep its mouth shut and just listen for awhile."
-- President Trump's chief White House strategist Steve Bannon in a media interview, 01/25/2017

"The Budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome will become bankrupt. People must again learn to work instead of living on public assistance."
-- Cicero, 55 BC

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."
-- Mark Twain, later paraphrased by Denzel Washington

"Break classification rules for the public's benefit, and you could be exiled.
  Do it for personal benefit, and you could be President."

-- Edward Snowden, June 1, 2016

"Two Americas" -- by Bob Lonsberry, 12/09/2013

"On being an American" -- by Theodore Roosevelt, 1907

"Political Correctness" -- as defined by President Harry Truman to Gen. Douglas MacArthur, 09/01/1945

"Butch The Rooster" -- Winner of two highly coveted awards

"Yogi Berra Quotes" -- by Yogi Berra, famous NY Yankee catcher and philosopher (05/12/1925 - 09/22/2015)

"Desiderata" -- by Max Ehrmann, 1927

"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize."
-- Voltaire

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
-- Winston Churchill

"No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up."
-- Philosopher-comedian Lily Tomlin

"Screwtape Letters Quotes" -- from The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis

"The experience of many ages proves that men may be ready to fight to the death, and to persecute without pity, for a religion whose creed they do not understand, and whose precepts they habitually disobey."
-- Lord Macaulay in the 1840s

"Quote of the Century" -- attributed to Václav Klaus, former Czech Republic Premier

"Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts."
-- Nobel Laureate Richard Feynman

"Americans don't solve problems, they leave them behind."
-- George Santayana

"How much good could a do-gooder do / if a do-gooder could do good?"
-- Paraphrase of the 'woodchuck' ditty

"We have nothing to fear but the low-information voter."
-- Paraphrase of FDR's words after Pearl Harbor

"If you LIKE your Obamacare, you can KEEP your Democrat."
-- Paraphrase of Barack Obama's promise on keeping your doctor

"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money."
-- Margaret Thatcher

"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.
  The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery."

-- Winston Churchill

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."
-- Luke 6:31 (The Golden Rule)

"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today!"
-- Popeye's portly friend Wimpy

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
-- Albert Einstein
(similar to Liberalism!)

"Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it."
-- George Santayana
(... and re-elect a Liberal.)

"We have met the enemy and he is us."
-- Pogo, by Walt Kelly

"All government programs have three things in common: a beginning, a muddle and no ending."
-- Will Rogers

"Government is not a solution to our problem. Government is the problem."
-- Ronald Reagan

"Keep It Simple, Stupid"; "Consider the source"; "Follow the money".
Follow these dictums and you'll find life easier and yourself better informed in our age of misinformation.
-- David Swink

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler"
-- Albert Einstein